Welcome, 2012.

When that feeling you get after watching a love movie becomes very much like the normal feeling responsible for your every day smile you know you have a lovely situation on your hands. Vulnerability can be one of the scariest, darkest holes to fall into but can also be one of the brightest most incredibly uplifting feelings just to let yourself fall into the unknown. Just let yourself fall into something that you can't predict the outcome of, it's like looking into the ambiguous nothingness while someone calls your name. You don't know, you just don't know. Are you afraid of the dark?
Vulnerability scares us because through that deliciously enticing darkness, we may be hurt. Curiosity takes over the soul in a way that no one can really describe with words. Only emotions, only the feeling of a touch, through a sound of a voice or the passion of eye contact. These things can't possibly be described in words because (as I said in one of my earlier blogs) it completely diminishes the true moment. That feeling you get after watching one of those gushy romantic comedies leaves you burning with the feeling of making you want to laugh. You just want to smile at the whole world. Especially if you have someone to share it with.
Life is a happy song when there's someone there to sing along. I laugh to myself as I write these words, but hey, I think I found someone. I think he might be special. I have this stupid but completely undeniable gut feeling.

Sometimes I get scared. "what comes up must come down," they say. How is it that I can be this damn happy, this satisfied without being absolutely terrified that the come down will be twice as hard. I'm so happy it should be a crime. It scares me more everyday as I try to soak in the absolutely blessed life I live. Why me? What did I do to be so deserving of all of these magical things happening to me all the time? I'm so lucky to have the family I have, to experience the things that I do. Readers, bloggers, don't get me wrong. Shit happens all the time. But those things that have made me the person that I am today writing this blog about my stupid emotions and impossible-to-ignore thoughts about life and love and experiences and people and events. My life is about to change, I can feel it. I've never felt it stronger than now but I feel something coming that I just can't even explain.

I know you read my blogs. You know I read yours too, sometimes. You haven't posted in a while, maybe it's because you're happy. I hope you are, I really do. I hope you found someone who So you probably read that I found someone, you probably exited my blog right away. Maybe not, you've always been curious. It's amazing how I know you even when I don't want to. Even when I try not to think about you, you come up in the most random places of my mind. The reason why I am able to talk about you is because i've accepted that what we had was great, and that it was the right time to let go. I look at you as a good memory, not someone who I dislike. This has allowed me to open up my heart.

So now my heart is open and full of this mushy gushy delicious feeling. Ugh its so gooey like a mushy cookie right out of the oven. Again, I'm laughing to myself. Who would of thought.