Goodbye to everything that I knew?
Sometimes it's hard for me to write down everything I have to say but today i'm just gonna write it with no regrets, no thought.
I think it's so special when I see a flower fall into moving water. You see such a beautiful thing that was created so naturally, floating gently up and down the waves of a moving current. The flower holds no tension, no stress, no nothing. It let's itself be taken away by the moving water.
Now one can percieve moving water as soothing, some as scary. Being taken into something with no protection, being swayed around and torn apart while your petals float away and come back to you again. Some people jump into love as if it's an open ocean to be discovered. Love is scary, love is beautiful, love is effortless. Sometimes I wish I could just be like a flower and let myself float away with no regrets and no self manipulation. What a world we would discover if we would just let ourselves.
What do you listen to first? Your heart or your brain? Which is better? Which is smarter?
With all of the pressures of the day and of the night and of the week and of the year, i'm letting go once and for all. I know who I am and I know what I want and i'm going to do anything to get there. I sometimes hear people saying "I can't wait to be that person." Who can't you wait to be?
Happiness is not a destination it's a state of mind. One can literally be happy in any situation at any time if one will just accept the situation for what it is. It's kind of like meditation. People think that to meditate, you need a clear mind. Well here's the truth: no one has a clear mind. Part of meditation, the most special part, is embracing your thoughts. Embracing that you can think and ponder, wonder and decide. Once you embrace your thoughts and accept that your mind will go wild sometimes will bring you to a whole new state of mind. That's when you truly have clarity. Once you embrace that nothing is perfect and will never be perfect, but the way you perceive certain situations can change your way of looking at things, that is when you will truly have clarity.
"I just want to be happy."
How many times have you heard that?
How many hours in the day are you up doing things, getting to where you wanna be?
I realized I have 24 hours in a day. How much time do I waste on the computer, sleeping, procrastinating?
I realize I always have to much on for me and never enough time to truly relax. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to who will truly listen to everything I have to say and give me their honest advice. I get so busy and I have this breakdown where i'm just like "alright, phone off, ghost mode."
mhm I said it.. i'm always ghosting.
I get these formsprings (who goes on formpsring anymore?) saying
"WHAT'S GHOSTING?"
"WHAT'S GHOSTING?"
it means dissapearing. it means dissconnecting from everything and everyone for a little bit so I can just think. You should try it sometime.
I look back at my life a year ago and I can't even believe the changes i've gone through. I can't believe I let you go. I can't believe I gave you everything and I let you go. It happens though, I hope you understand one day that all I really wanted was to find some clarity in life and now that I did, I realized I could be without you. I could be just mine and no one else's.
I think I care too much, that's what gives me problems.
Peacing out for now, Sweet dreams <3
