I'm sitting here, trying to study and i'm as unsuccessful as ever. There are thoughts floating freely in my mind, waiting to be caught. By who? I'm not quite sure. There are so many things I feel and so many things i'd like to say, but who i'd say them to is a different story. It's hard when i'm sitting so silently but my thoughts are screaming out loud. To be heard, to be acknowledged. To be seen, to be loved, to be thought of, to be pondered. Isn't that what we all want?
It's as if we're all floating, waiting patiently, in a sea of beauty and intricacy. What do we really see though? Do we really see the beauty that lies just before us or do we keep looking for something more, missing the jewels and diamonds of our lives that lie right before our eyes. What is it that we really want.
To find meaning: is somewhat true. But I feel that finding meaning is the quest of life. We go through our days encountering challenges, solving problems, discovering ourselves in the midst of everyone's eyes except our own. Who are we if we don't have anything to solve, to work towards, to look forward to? If we really have it all, then havent we found our meaning? No. The answer is absolutely not. Finding meaning is actually coming to the realization that we know nothing at all. That we have nothing and everything, where time has no consequences. When we realize we are who we are and nothing will ever change that unless superficial aspects come into play with reality. But our true meaning of our lives comes from the pure unknown. Not knowing. That's the ultimate beauty of living.
To find love: is something indescribable. Indescribable because in all of my time here writing I really haven't been able to accurately describe the essence of what true love is. Is it because I haven't experienced it? Sometimes I question that. We all think we're in love when we're in a relationship of more than six months. But the way I see it is that love is something deeper than just infatuation. Deeper than just a longing to be with one another. It's being a part of each other. It's finding their soul right in the way they look at you, it's discovering all of their secrets by the way they kiss you. Discovering one another in different ways is the most beautiful thing one can experience. But yet, do I know it? I do love, and I am capable of loving, but I only question myself because I am young. But when someone says "you don't know what love is" I disagree. Everyone has their own perception of what love really is, but when you have it, you know it. You don't doubt it, you don't name it, you just embrace it. You absorb every scent around you, every taste everything so vividly, and you learn to see things more clearly.
To find inner peace: is what we are all truly looking for. But peace doesn't mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
